Communication....

"'Words do not convey meanings; they call them forth.' I speak out of the context of my experience, and you listen out of the context of yours, and that is why communication is difficult."

--David O. McKay

Communication is difficult isn't it? There are some people who talk too much; they over share and spill out information that may be too personal, not thought out, or mean. They speak their minds too often and offend people. (Yes, I usually fall into this category.) But there are others who do the opposite. They hold in a lot of what they think and feel. This form of communication is just as reckless as blurting every thought, feeling, and story we have on our minds.

When we don't share what is bothering us, many things can happen. The feelings can grow, and fester, and cause damage in our relationships. I've learned over the years that instead of sulking off and crying when Kevin hurts my feelings that I should tell him. It makes me feel better, and he learns what to avoid saying in the future. When we don't communicate that others have upset us, how do they know when to apologize or change their actions. It's so hard to have someone mad at me. It's even harder when I don't know why.

I bring up communication because Kevin and I had an interesting experience the other day. It was almost 4:00, and I overheard Kevin tell Brynnlee that he wanted to play a game on the Wii. Well, I wanted to watch Dr. Phil. There was an interesting show on the day before about an intervention, and I wanted to watch the follow-up so. I hurried in Brynnlee's room and told Kevin that he couldn't play the Wii because I wanted to watch this particular Dr. Phil show. He was nice enough to put off playing a video game for awhile. Well, 4:00 came, and I went to watch tv. But when the show started, I discovered it wasn't about the intervention, so I turned off the television and found something else to do. About a half an hour later, I hear, "Lindsay, could you come here." It was Kevin, and he sounded upset. He said, "Is this the Dr. Phil show you wanted to watch?" I look at the screen, and the title of the show is "My Mate's Not Hot Enough!" I almost started laughing when I saw it, but I realized that he thought I was really going to watch this. Maybe he was thinking I felt this way. I explained what happened, we got a good laugh out of it, and he changed the channel.

But I started thinking, what if Kevin hadn't said anything to me? What if he had thought that was the show I wanted to watch? What would his attitude toward me been? Would we started having problems because of this lack of communication? It could have happened. I hate to think of the damage that miscommunication and no communication can do to a marriage.