Communication....

"'Words do not convey meanings; they call them forth.' I speak out of the context of my experience, and you listen out of the context of yours, and that is why communication is difficult."

--David O. McKay

Communication is difficult isn't it? There are some people who talk too much; they over share and spill out information that may be too personal, not thought out, or mean. They speak their minds too often and offend people. (Yes, I usually fall into this category.) But there are others who do the opposite. They hold in a lot of what they think and feel. This form of communication is just as reckless as blurting every thought, feeling, and story we have on our minds.

When we don't share what is bothering us, many things can happen. The feelings can grow, and fester, and cause damage in our relationships. I've learned over the years that instead of sulking off and crying when Kevin hurts my feelings that I should tell him. It makes me feel better, and he learns what to avoid saying in the future. When we don't communicate that others have upset us, how do they know when to apologize or change their actions. It's so hard to have someone mad at me. It's even harder when I don't know why.

I bring up communication because Kevin and I had an interesting experience the other day. It was almost 4:00, and I overheard Kevin tell Brynnlee that he wanted to play a game on the Wii. Well, I wanted to watch Dr. Phil. There was an interesting show on the day before about an intervention, and I wanted to watch the follow-up so. I hurried in Brynnlee's room and told Kevin that he couldn't play the Wii because I wanted to watch this particular Dr. Phil show. He was nice enough to put off playing a video game for awhile. Well, 4:00 came, and I went to watch tv. But when the show started, I discovered it wasn't about the intervention, so I turned off the television and found something else to do. About a half an hour later, I hear, "Lindsay, could you come here." It was Kevin, and he sounded upset. He said, "Is this the Dr. Phil show you wanted to watch?" I look at the screen, and the title of the show is "My Mate's Not Hot Enough!" I almost started laughing when I saw it, but I realized that he thought I was really going to watch this. Maybe he was thinking I felt this way. I explained what happened, we got a good laugh out of it, and he changed the channel.

But I started thinking, what if Kevin hadn't said anything to me? What if he had thought that was the show I wanted to watch? What would his attitude toward me been? Would we started having problems because of this lack of communication? It could have happened. I hate to think of the damage that miscommunication and no communication can do to a marriage.

Finding the Christmas Spirit

I often have a hard time finding my inner Christmas spirit. I feel like Christmas has become a crazy holiday and few really think about the Savior. I sometimes wonder why we all get so wrapped up in this time of year.

Why do we stress ourselves out over gifts and parties and perfection? Why do we try to find the perfect presents for others? Why do we buy presents at all? Why don't we do service for others all of the time? Why don't we love each other all year round?

I don't know if my questions will ever be answered or if I will ever fully change how I feel about Christmas. But last week I found a little piece of my Christmas spirit. I was able to participate in an activity involving Japanese sisters from here in Okinawa. The people involved wanted to teach them about the American traditions of Christmas. The delight and enthusiasm of the Japanese women reminded me of children learning about Christmas for the first time. It was....refreshing.

We divided into four different groups. I drove my group to the homes of those participating. At each home, the Japanese sisters experienced a little bit of Christmas in the US. The first home introduced them to Christmas decorations and caroling. We even went to the next door neighbors and sang a couple of Christmas songs. It was wonderful to hear "Joy to the World" in English and Japanese. Next, they learned about Christmas cards. The wonderful American sisters explained what we do with Christmas cards and even helped the Japanese woman make a card. Third, we learned about the symbols of Christmas. This was my favorite because we sat around a fire and learned that the decorations, tree, colors, and gifts of Christmas all have a significance and are connected to helping us remember Christ. It is what I needed to hear because I was beginning to feel like all that we did had little to do with the Savior. Finally, the Japanese sisters were introduced to the art of Christmas cookie decorating--a very wonderful part of Christmas!

I am very glad I was able to participate in this activity. I know that my heart needed it. I haven't completely found my Christmas spirit, but I am one step closer.